27-11-2008, 12:11
Hallo!
I understand german well, but i prefer to answer in english...
I live in Norway, 32 years old... I can verify that most of this information is right (some mistakes and i come back to this later).
The father to my kids (3 and 6 years old) is german and we split 2 years ago.
He had two kids from an older relationsship (now 13 and 14 years old)
When we split i could (as the Unterhaltsempfaengerin) choose if i wanted the german or the norwegian Unterhaltsrecht as the counting law for our kids (due to the Luganoconvention). I had no doubts...: The norwegian law!
In praxis it means less money for me and "less" rights for me as a singlemother compared with the germans... So what?? The norwegian system is LOGIC and fair. The kids don't belong to ME alone!!
I think there is one basic difference between the german and the norwegian women: We are too proud to sit on our asses and recieve BU and huge KU from the ex. We wanna work to make our own living. The basic common knowledge to be respnsible for your own life is a value we carry with us... (of course we have some lazy singlemothers as well, but at least the father is not paying for them).
With two kids I work fulltime, and I always did since the kids turned 11 months. This is for me natural. And I'm laughing about the mothers in Germany -housewives for 4-5-6 years after the kids are born. And work teilzeit until the kids are 14 years... I can't belive it!! Are we living in the 60's?? There is NO problem to work fulltime when the kids are young, and it's only housewives that scream the kids are doing best at home holding the mother hands...
With this attitude I was able to buy my own house (I only have an average income ca. 40.000 € a year) and I have all i need in life, and I'm NOT depending on a man!)
For two kids I recieve 170 € a month from the father (this is payed to a closed account til the kids are 20 years). The lazy mother in Germany get 288 € for ONE kid!! (576 for both) and still she complains that he "only" pay the mindestunterhalt! It's unbeliveable! She gets ALGII, has a new man with money and the are living a great material life with a lot af travelling and money... She didn't really work since a long time (only some here and there, low-payed jobs. But she has no idea about a normal 40 hours week, 48 weeks a year) How embarassing for her...to live from other peoples money!
Tempting for me to change to the german rights to get more money?? Not for one single second!!!!! Unfair?? Absolutely! i'm only afraid my kids are going to react if the ever gonna know the father payed much more for his first two kids than them... But i'm proud of the way I chose, and i never thought it's wrong.
My vision and aim in life is not to rip of the father. I want him to have a good life as well, be happy and manage to give his kids a decent time when they visit him. Unfortunately his former ex have the opposite way of thinking- and make it very difficult with umgang on top...
I'm still after 10 years shocked about the german unterhaltssystem and I read this forum (still) many times a week. And i find it hilarious, terrible and extremely unfair-
I feel so sorry for all of you out there paying a fortune in unterhalt a year to a mother that lives like a queen compared to yourselves and (almost) never see your OWN KIDS. I'm really wondering what's wrong in Germany and with the women there. I'm not for one second defending this type of "mothers".
And still i'm only able to think...: I just CAN'T belive it!!
I understand german well, but i prefer to answer in english...
I live in Norway, 32 years old... I can verify that most of this information is right (some mistakes and i come back to this later).
The father to my kids (3 and 6 years old) is german and we split 2 years ago.
He had two kids from an older relationsship (now 13 and 14 years old)
When we split i could (as the Unterhaltsempfaengerin) choose if i wanted the german or the norwegian Unterhaltsrecht as the counting law for our kids (due to the Luganoconvention). I had no doubts...: The norwegian law!
In praxis it means less money for me and "less" rights for me as a singlemother compared with the germans... So what?? The norwegian system is LOGIC and fair. The kids don't belong to ME alone!!
I think there is one basic difference between the german and the norwegian women: We are too proud to sit on our asses and recieve BU and huge KU from the ex. We wanna work to make our own living. The basic common knowledge to be respnsible for your own life is a value we carry with us... (of course we have some lazy singlemothers as well, but at least the father is not paying for them).
With two kids I work fulltime, and I always did since the kids turned 11 months. This is for me natural. And I'm laughing about the mothers in Germany -housewives for 4-5-6 years after the kids are born. And work teilzeit until the kids are 14 years... I can't belive it!! Are we living in the 60's?? There is NO problem to work fulltime when the kids are young, and it's only housewives that scream the kids are doing best at home holding the mother hands...
With this attitude I was able to buy my own house (I only have an average income ca. 40.000 € a year) and I have all i need in life, and I'm NOT depending on a man!)
For two kids I recieve 170 € a month from the father (this is payed to a closed account til the kids are 20 years). The lazy mother in Germany get 288 € for ONE kid!! (576 for both) and still she complains that he "only" pay the mindestunterhalt! It's unbeliveable! She gets ALGII, has a new man with money and the are living a great material life with a lot af travelling and money... She didn't really work since a long time (only some here and there, low-payed jobs. But she has no idea about a normal 40 hours week, 48 weeks a year) How embarassing for her...to live from other peoples money!
Tempting for me to change to the german rights to get more money?? Not for one single second!!!!! Unfair?? Absolutely! i'm only afraid my kids are going to react if the ever gonna know the father payed much more for his first two kids than them... But i'm proud of the way I chose, and i never thought it's wrong.
My vision and aim in life is not to rip of the father. I want him to have a good life as well, be happy and manage to give his kids a decent time when they visit him. Unfortunately his former ex have the opposite way of thinking- and make it very difficult with umgang on top...
I'm still after 10 years shocked about the german unterhaltssystem and I read this forum (still) many times a week. And i find it hilarious, terrible and extremely unfair-
I feel so sorry for all of you out there paying a fortune in unterhalt a year to a mother that lives like a queen compared to yourselves and (almost) never see your OWN KIDS. I'm really wondering what's wrong in Germany and with the women there. I'm not for one second defending this type of "mothers".
And still i'm only able to think...: I just CAN'T belive it!!